Here is the real truth. Most of us are part of the problem yet only a few are offering real solutions. Most of us want things to work in our favor relative to our gains over whatever others may want or so desperately need. Realistically far too few would put the needs of others above their personal needs and desires. These are normal human responses.

Until we feel the need to go outside our selfish ambitions we will not be overly willing to address the needs of others. Until we accept the fact that if we are not being the solution we are essentially someone’s problem. Most people do not think in these terms. This is what is called the sense of entitlement: You deserve it in spite of anything, or reason.

In the field of politics this sense of entitlement has grown far past what is offered to those whom may be suffering, regardless of the reasons why. We have grown into a “me-generation.” We see others with things that we would like to have so we want them for ourselves and feel quite frankly, entitled to have them.

The bottom line is that not all the people will ever have all the things they want or need. Not all are even worthy or earned the right to have things just because they want them. At a point this has to be accepted as a fact of life. In order that one might adjust this feeling of entitlement to a feeling of “can do,” they must be willing to “take the ball and run with it.”

If you want something bad enough don’t wait on a handout. Instead do all you can in order to make that desire happen by the energies you are willing to exert. Rather than waiting and blaming others use your available energies to push your own cart forward.

You become the horse that is pulling your cart rather than waiting on a horse to appear out of nowhere and pull your cart. The chance of this gift-horse coming out of nowhere and working on your behalf is very slim.

If you want to be in control over your fate then take on the personal responsibility. Do the work and reap your own results. Once you do so then you know who is to blame when things are not going well. You also know who to fire or replace if things are not going well. When you are the boss is when true entitlement comes into play. You earn it!

Yes you can blame the President, your political leaders, your mom and dad, your school teachers, your lack of education or opportunity; or you can step up to the plate and take personal responsibility whereby you know who is in charge. It’s your choice!

The fact that the “rich” has more financial privileges, perks or gains is nothing new. There is nothing wrong with people becoming insanely successful, as long as it is within their means. Why should it bother anyone if people are very successful, unless they took unfair advantage of others in order to gain? Even still if you cannot connect the crime with the criminal you are still just barking into thin air.

Should people be upset that our government bailed out Wall Street using our tax money? Absolutely yes! But why are we mad at the people who benefited when we should be even more upset that our government used our money to benefit the rich?

The excuse the government told us was that if Wall Street went down the entire country would sink even deeper into a recession. Even without being a financial expert it appears that there may have been some validity to that claim, but still, how it was handled did not make our government look intelligent or appear to be fair. It appeared that they were protecting the rich at the expense of the poor.

I’m not one to put the blame solely upon the president because certainly he does not have enough power to unilaterally make such a decision. It took the majority of the House and the Senate in order to pass the “Wall Street Bail Out” measure. In actuality everyone that voted on this matter had a hand in its approval. There were members from both parties that approved this bill. All of them need to share the blame. They did not handle this matter properly.

In politics when there is blame to take each party wants to point to the other side rather than admitting they personally made a mistake. Even with that stated they still have the ability to work together in order to come up with a different solution that would undo some of the damage that was caused.

One simple nugget of a solution would be to charge them a healthy interest rate upon the return of the “bail-out” funds and put that money back into the national treasury. Why not make a decent profit from the money we loaned them?

Someone PLEASE tell me that this was not free money that we loaned to them just to support their plush lavish lifestyles! This loan was not to pay for their bonuses and slush funds…WAS IT! The money has to go back into the national treasury so we can replenish what was lost.

What I am not seeing with this “occupy America movement” is the protesters actually reaching the people who are actually at fault. The rich were the ones that caused the situation. Poor or bad unsecured investments (because of their greed) are what caused the system to almost crumble. Instead of repaying the people whose lifelong savings and investments turned sour… our government bailed out the institutions that ran things into the ground.

Yes, we should be mad with “Wall Street,” but the occupying of public facilities and town squares is not hurting the people that caused the problem.

Although it may be a bit noble, or stupid, depending upon how you look at the matter, the perpetrators that we should be going after are sitting in their warm, plush domains looking at the protest from afar.

Sleeping in the park, on the ground, in the rain and cold is not putting a dent in the matter, except for perhaps by persuading public opinion. Even still, where is the gain?

The Wall Street Executives live far away from downtown buildings out into their fancy gated suburbs and watch the protest movement on television from the warmth and safety of their gated communities. There’s something about that picture that doesn’t seem fair.

With our ability to broadcast things internationally, almost as they happen, there seem to have been a string of barbaric murders of highly unpopular people. We label these individuals as “public enemies” and list them by numbers according to how dangerous they may be to the public’s welfare.

America does not have clean hands in this matter. It is because of our covert actions that many of the more popular props were sat on the grand stage. They were the bad boys that we hoisted into their powerful positions that went rogue.

We secretly set up leaders who were supposed to be our allies until they become rich and powerful enough and turn their backs and cut of the hands they hoisted them into power. Once they turned rogue they become our most wanted criminals to be hunted down.

However since these individuals knew too many of our devious secrets we had to be discrete in the way we eradicated them. Anything short of killing them by any means necessary would let out too many of our dirty secrets if they were to be brought to highly exposed media trial. We would not look too good if the truth were exposed.

Are there any clean hands that operate on the grand stage of world’s most powerful nations? Even though many people have heard of such covert operations, no one steps up to the megaphone and complain about what they suspect. In a sense we sanction such things by allowing them to happen and not doing anything to stop what we suspect.

Just in the last few years several of these rogue operatives were killed in a heinous manner. Knowing them to be ruthless people, the manner in which they were killed seemed to have thrilled the international audience that watched it unfold in the media.

It was as though we were watching a movie where the villain was killed in a really horrific manner and everyone cheered in delight, hooray! In real life these human beings were killed in a horrific manner. Does anyone care? NAH!

Forget the fact that they were humans being killed in a manner that we usually sanction for ruthless wild animals, but no one cared that humans were being slaughtered. It was as though they lost the right to be treated as fellow human beings.

Without trying to defend such despicable characters we should take note of where we are heading as a worldwide community. What does that say about us when we publicly slaughter human beings that we don’t like to the delight of the worldwide community?

Have we crossed over a line where art, such as in the movies, is beginning to shape our moral values? Is it okay to kill villains in any manner possible without taking them through a system of justice by trial? If that indeed is the case then where do we draw the line and who gets to be the new judge and jury?

Rather than allowing ruthless criminals the use of a costly criminal justice systems or funding the cost of incarcerating them for life, would it not be more practical just to just kill them on site to the delight of the worldwide community?

How about the criminals who have three strikes against them? We pay for their incarceration. Couldn’t we just kill them and forgo the cost of supporting them for life?

Has morality come down to pragmatism? Do our moral values depend upon things being consequentially practical? Yes, it would be more practical to kill “lifers” rather than paying to keep them alive for an unspecified time period. Yes, it is easier to kill the rogue dictators rather than have them expose our secret alliances with them.

If pragmatism were the defining rule we wouldn’t need a criminal justice systems that allows people the right to a trial with the presumption of innocence until proven guilty.

Can people just form a collective alliance, which allows them to do as they did to the Libyan dictator? Can mighty governmental officials make such decisions behind closed doors at their discretion? How about victims getting even for what was egregiously done to them or a loved one? Where do we draw the line and who gets to make such decisions?

There’s something about these recent murders that is deeply troublesome, but I cannot seem to find the words to put it in its rightful prospective.

On one hand I’m happy that really bad people were erased from the planet before they could harm others, but the manner in which they were erased crossed a fragile line that could lead down a very slippery slop, one that would be much harder to harness, once unleashed.

Has humanity matured enough yet as a worldwide community that we might have intelligent conversations about this “slippery slope” we are endeavoring? Have we evolved enough as sentient beings that we could speak about things such as this on an international basis while functioning in the many cultural, linguistic, religious, or spiritual differences that define us? One would certainly hope, but it is very doubtful at this time.

If we are not there yet, then we had better find a way to get there soon, before we slide too far down the slope that brings out more of our animalistic nature rather than our inner spiritual core. We must define who we are as a species and how to operate as a collective body. After all, this world is getting far to small for us not to have a clear-cut human definition that we choose to live by.

Think about the vast differences between a mass murderer and a nun. Other than being two living and breathing human beings, just how similar are these two individuals?

How about a bank robber and a bank teller? What about a drug dealer and a drug addict? How about a soldier of war and a street thug killer? How are these humans similar and what part makes them totally different?

From an outward perspective we recognize each other’s human element. Unlike zebras or tigers that recognize each other’s markings, we see only a surface that differentiates us from other mammals. We recognize our human aspect, but other than that we know very little.

Because we are so wonderfully made yet so imperfectly assimilated our physical appearance tells us very little about the real person inside the human facade. A thief could look like a saint and a military hero could look like a mass murderer.

Judging a person merely by their image tells us only so much about them, but reading and delving into a person’s character can tell you more about the real person inside that shell. Realizing this to be a fact all we would need to do is learn how to read someone’s character.

Unfortunately many people know how to cover up what they don’t want you to know. Take, for example, intimate relationships that end up in marriage: just how much do couples really know about each other before they tie the knot?

The reason behind so many failing marriages is because certain vital information was concealed from the other party. Once this information was revealed the couple found out just how incompatible they were in the first place. Because of this, learning to read character could save so much time and heartache for countless people.

Obviously there are people that go to school to learn how to read behind the façade, but even they are not perfect. One simple way to read into people is to follow your hunches. You get a sense of people almost from the beginning, but most are willing to ignore this sixth sense in order to acquire what’s behind door number two.

Some are so eager to find a mate, a close friend, or to get close to others that they ignore what their sixth sense tells them. This is similar to the secret of a good magician. They intentionally convince you that you are seeing something that in reality, you are not!

In order to read another’s character you have to decide in advance to look beyond the facade, or what your eyes reveal to you. By doing this, your mind opens interior eyes that are not just attached to the sight, but much deeper to the heart-sensor as well.

You sense character through the heart rather than the eyes. It is feeling something that is unseen, which is the essence of the spiritual and emotional charkas. It is a knowing beyond conscious awareness.

The problem most have is our willingness to accept what is seen rather than probe more deeply into the unseen, which is the real person inside the shell. Their character is their soul. The soul cannot lie because it is the total essence of the person beyond their physical characteristics and attributes.

It is said that the eyes open a window to the soul of a person. If you are contemplating adding someone into your inner circle, such as in an intimate relationship, look into their eyes without speech or preconception and see what is revealed from their soul.

Stop looking at what you want to see and feel what you sense instead. We all have this ability, but many choose not to use it. In understanding the apparent inconsistencies of human behavior try using your sixth sense rather than what the eyes reveal. When you sense something don’t ignore it in order to acquire the storefront dressings.

I think I get this now…you have to want IT first. Not what you hope for, but what’s really there.

Coincidentally most people in the waiting room appeared to have been close to the same age range, around 60ish. The life we experienced was much different from the one kids are experiencing today. Because of this our expectations might not be very realistic.

In truth this is a completely different world we are living in, in so many aspects. Things that are available now weren’t then. Access to certain resources was not accessible to us as it is to them. In spite of the differences we act as though they should just put on our same shoes and handle life the way we did… BUZZZZ…NOT!

Not only do they wear totally different shoes, everything that they put on has changed. By this I am not speaking about their clothing. It’s more like we were traveling the universe together and they got off on a totally different planet than us.

Most wouldn’t condone some of the illicit and many times disrespectful behavior that we see coming from our youth today. Some of that behavior we must be willing to take the lion’s share of the blame if we want to see our children prosper. Throwing our arms up in disgust won’t help them. Only by setting very clear boundaries with serious consequences for violating them will children respond accordingly.

The comment I heard most in the waiting room was how stern our parents were with us and how few choices we had regarding our upbringing. Several said that they did not have the choice to be stupid, disrespectful, uneducated, immoral, or in any way contrary to the lines established by their parents. Because of those clear lines with very severe consequences most of us faired well.

Being popular with children did not seem to be on the agenda for our generation. Giving children everything they wanted without having to perform dearly was not part of our program. Having too much of anything was not a problem that we experienced. In fact nearly everything you achieved was earned by blood, sweat and tears. That was the culture of the times back then, but it’s certainly not the case today.

It appears that our generation, the baby boomers, thought our parents were unduly tough on us so consequently we vowed that we would not treat our children anywhere near that manner. As the results of our easing up on the screws we actually screwed up our children by not enforcing clear restrictions with consequences. The issue at hand is finding a way to turn around what we screwed up!

Another point we must accept is the fact that we alone can’t fix the problem. In order to put Humpty Dumpy back together it will require some of the same maturity factors that happened to us. We finally grew up and learned the error of our ways so we decided to change many of our devious behaviors. We ended up going back to the parental guidance that was forced upon us. In hindsight it was the better way.

Our children have already found this out for the most part but their children are almost double-damned. We damned them so they damned their children. If being damned gets to be the culture then anarchy would be the only real solution. Tear the whole house down.

I’m not ready to throw in the towel, not just yet. I don’t think anyone is ready to give up in spite of the severity of the situation. We just know that the problem will be tougher to fix than anticipated. People will actually have to commit to rolling up their sleeves, getting down into the nitty-gritty, and start working on the issues. Whatever it takes and for as long as it takes to achieve measurable results is the posture we must be willing to adopt.

We need to stop pointing blame-fingers because that is not productive. Everyone can just take a part of the blame while they take on part of the responsibility for real change. Many get excited in the short term about getting involved but after the meeting is over there is usually little to no follow through.  If there is no reinforcement in the homes we leave too many gaps in our plan. Parents must step up and guard their own, even though it appears to be a very tough and loosing battle. You had them, so they’re your responsibility.

Anyone who has survived tough times knows the first step is fully committing to the long haul. When things seem unbearable commitment gives us perseverance like a shot of adrenaline. Without it the sheer pressure will crumble you. We cannot afford to give up on our future generations.

One simple motto is that each one, teach one. Make your goal reachable. Reach out and help at least one kid, even if that one is in your family. If you have several children make sure you take full responsibility each one of them. Take them as your personal responsibility and lead them into the future as responsible citizens.

Yes, it is a “tough row to hoe,” but we must make “tough” our expectation, anything less would only be gravy. When you are braced to handle the worst… things only get better from that point forward. I’m not giving up…not just yet!

When discussing relationships problems with a friend is when they are most culpable. It is difficult to be impartial and give sound advice when you’re only willing to weigh one side of the equation. In order to give the best advice one needs to impartially look at both sides. Where the shoe fits… that is where the gavel should fall; however, out of loyalty to our friends we may unintentionally curve our advice to please them.

From one guy giving advice to his buddy, many times it has nothing to do with what is right, good, or decent. He could even be dead wrong. A macho pal usually stands by his buddy regardless. Perhaps they think it’s possible to find another mate, but not another great friend. So guess who gets the ax? This may even include wives as well as girl friends. Guys tend to stick together just as the gals.

Are we really doing our friends a true service when we take their side knowing they are wrong? The real answer is “no”, because they don’t get a chance to correct a fault in them. Many friends will watch their buddies go through several failed relationships for the same reason and never tell them the truth.

If you knew your pal was a constant womanizer and cheated on his wife frequently, what position should you take? If this buddy had been married and divorced several times and continued with the same habit, are you being a good friend by taking their side?

I once knew an associate/friend that had a thing for under-aged girls. He was a schoolteacher. At the time I said nothing, even though I disagreed with what he was doing. I knew he was both morally and legally wrong.

You hear of such teachers on the news occasionally going to jail and serving serious time for their crime. In essence my loyalty to a friend made me culpable to his crime. (Aiding and abetting!)

At the time I was young. Even knowing it was wrong I didn’t quite know how to handle the situation so I just ignored it. After a while he left town so the problem was “out of sight and out of mind” for me. Whenever I hear of a teacher getting busted for this crime I think of this friend.

This is a character issue. Condoning illegal or immoral behavior is a reflection upon us. What if one of those under-aged girls had been my daughter or granddaughter? Does it make it less immoral or illegal when they are strangers? Absolutely not!

Our character defines us. It specifies who you are at the core. At the time I was willing to turn a blind eye to things that were seriously wrong. Who amongst us doesn’t know people who have done wrong things? How do we respond in the face of culpability?

Back in the 60s many of my generation were fairly heavy into experimenting with all sorts of illegal drugs. We were drinking and driving, or high on something more lethal than alcohol. Weren’t we all a bit culpable to a degree at some point in our lives?

When we have friends or relatives that egregiously violate our moral boundaries yet fail to mention it to the proper authorities, does our silence help them? These are tough calls. The Unabomber’s brother was the one that turned him in to the authorities.

When young, perhaps there were many things that you ignored even knowing they were wrong. Even to this day we may do that for friends and family thinking we are on their side. Ask yourself, is it right to condone wrongful behavior?

The truth of the matter is there are morals and laws in a civilized society. We know the difference between right and wrong. When we allow wrong things to happen and do nothing to report it, this is a direct reflection upon our character.

The least you should consider doing when you know people are committing illegal and immoral behaviors is to tell them they’re wrong. If they choose to cut you off as a friend you would have only lost an immoral or illegal person. That is really your gain.

However, if this person is a family member you might want to give them another chance to correct the situation before reporting them to the proper authorities or family elders.

Some choices in life are tougher than others. This is a really tough call. Being a true friend should include doing what is morally and ethically right for them regardless of the possible outcome of the friendship. All advice is not good advice…FYI!

In truth we don’t usually need the amount of time that we think in order to break our habits. Most of the time we spend by way of getting things done is spent on overcoming procrastination. It is like having a roadblock in the mind. Once the mind is in gear to go forward then time is no longer our enemy. When you do things in the NOW moments time is not your obstacle.

How does one learn how to break the tendency of procrastination? Like all things you develop in life you need to make it a constant practice. Each day give yourself a chore to do and see if you can do it immediately, at the moment you think about it. If you are lying in bed in the morning and there is a chill in the air… tell yourself to get up immediately and do it immediately. Or, tell yourself to get up five minutes before the time you originally set… do it on an impulse. Do something spontaneously without giving yourself the time to talk yourself out of doing it. These are just a few examples of ways you can practice breaking the habit of procrastination.

Once you become a proactive person rather than a reactive one you will be surprised at what you can accomplish. Most highly successful people are the ones that live actively with life rather than reactively. They create the action, albeit good or bad, and just do it! They are the ones in charge rather than waiting on others to make the first move. Most highly successful people have found a way to overcome procrastination.

In fact, most ordinary people do not reach a fraction of their potential because they cannot make themselves do what must, or needs to be done, just when it needs to be done. There is usually much more in the “potential tank” than most utilize. Once you overcome the habit of procrastination you will inevitably climb up the ladder of your potential. You will learn to burn more of the fuel in your tank.

Learning to live in and with the current moment is something that we all could do much better. In order to do so we must somehow learn to overcome our own demons. We are at war with ourselves much more than we care to admit. The main battleground is in your mind.

The world is not really holding you back. The system is not really holding you back. People are not responsible for holding you back. We are our own worst enemy. We have to learn how to overcome the hurdle of our own mind. When we win the battle over the “self” is when we are free to reach our highest potential. NOW is the only time that matters. Not a while ago and certainly not in the future. Do what you know needs to be done in the NOW!

The past is eternally gone and the future has not yet arrived, NOW is really all there is. That’s a fact and your truth!

Fortunately for me I made a couple of wise choices that assisted me later in life. I can’t take any credit for being smart because I only followed the prompting that came my way from my environment  (most specifically from my Mother) that led me to take precautionary measures.

Unfortunately, the statistics show a drastic decline in how the male species is operating while at the same time it shows a counteracting incline in how females are operating. Overall females are doing much better in this society, while males are not. Much of this is attributed to the lackadaisical attitude men have adopted in recent years. Men are not used to having to compete against females for the typical roles men fulfilled since time’s beginning. Men were the unchallenged heads of the family. Today, how things have changed.

Men can no longer depend upon going out and finding a manual labor job just to produce an income that will sustain a family. In tough economic times minimum-wage jobs will not cut it. Depending upon your financial social status such wages will not even cover the minimum standards of living. If living below the standard is what you are willing to accept for your family and yourself, then being a man without a plan will certainly get you there.  Alternatively, if you want more for those who depend upon you, a plan of action is necessary. The rules of the world have changed. You must adjust if you want to become successful.

Obviously good planning is beneficial to all: Major businesses operate that way, teams work that way, and even the world at large works in an organized manner. When you don’t have a plan the automatic default is usually failure. For example, if you leave a plot of land un-kept it will not grow a manicured garden. It will only produce wild weeds. This is called entropy. A man without a plan achieves similar results.

Even though I can’t tell you how to plan your life, or what kind of plan may work with the skills or natural gifts you may have, I can tell you with certainty that if you do nothing… you will achieve nothing. If achieving nothing is good enough for you, then so be it.

Being incorrigible as a single person with no responsibilities is one thing, but being that way with responsibilities and people depending upon you places one on the lower side of human character and behavior. You are beyond constraints, advice, or correction. If that is truly how you want to run your life then do it alone, and hopefully away from others that want what is best for all.

A man with a plan is what you should want to be. When you were a child people expected you to act as one, but there comes a point when you reach the age of maturity. At that point you must shed your childish ways and step up to the plate in order to be counted or even be IN the game of life.   You may not have a master plan for success but at least you should have one that keeps you out of the wild weeds. Be somebody that others can call worthy – be a man with a plan!

However, when it comes to taking care of your masculine needs, very little attention is given. Males do all they can to please and nurture females, but the opposite is not the standard. When it comes to nurturing masculine needs most males are not consciously aware of what their needs may be because rarely is it verbally expressed. It is not that males want to become pampered by females but that they have certain needs that will make them function better. It is similar to how vehicles require regular maintenance in order to function at their best level of performance.

Several years back I read a booklet that spoke about masculine needs and how to nurture them. At the time I was not aware that I needed certain pampering or maintenance in order to function to the best of my ability. After reading this material I got it right away. I realized that when I was properly maintained I functioned better. Many men think that they need to be fulfilled sexually and that would place them at the top of their abilities.

In truth sex pertains to a physical need, but we are more than just physical creatures. We have emotional, spiritual and psychological needs in addition to our physical needs. Although our physical needs are quite important, sex is not a cure-all. It is not even a panacea for our physical needs.

Without getting into copyrighted material I will summarize some of the things this material revealed to me in reference to our masculine needs. Once you become aware of these needs you can personally take charge of being in charge of your own masculinity. You become the gatekeeper in order to make sure you are being properly maintained. Many of these requirements are up to you to carve out pf time and space in order to make sure they are met. Below, I will briefly mention these needs and you can figure out where you stand by way of servicing and maintenance. This was taken from a booklet by John Gray, PhD called, “Twelve Ways for Men to Nurture Their Masculinity.”

One: Men need to spend time with other males competing as a team or as individuals. This helps them to sharpen their personal tools. As boys you learned to play hard against each other. Even though you saw that as play, you learned life skills that help you today in a competitive world. When you learn to operate as a team that helps you in things such as family, business, or other natural groupings where we (males) are involved.

Two: Men need time alone in order to contemplate where they are in life and what they need to do in order to proceed forward. If you do not take this time alone for self-reflection life has a way of smothering you and you won’t be able to see through the fog. Find ways of spending time alone in self-reflection and it will keep you aligned with your purpose, your goals, and what you perceive as your truth. This was referred to as “cave time.”

Three: Males need to find ways of releasing their warrior energies. Males are born with aggressive tendencies. This is why they were the primary candidates for soldiers in war. They could be trained to unleash their warrior-like energies. These energies can be released by, playing games, looking at violent movies, exerting themselves physically through playing hard, and the like.

Four: Men need to regularly exert their muscles in different ways. There are energies that are running through your system that need to be managed properly. Allowing your muscles to flex helps to manage your masculine energies. Doing different things that allow your muscles to flex helps nurture your masculinity.

Five: Push yourself to new higher limits. Not only do you need to push your muscles, you need to push your mind. You need to reach for higher goals. Don’t get too comfortable with the status quo because that makes you age. Learn new things and keep pushing yourself.

Six: Do random acts of kindness. This will keep you spiritually-adjusted. Learn to do things for others. Learn to put the needs of others above your own selfish needs. Even though you need to always protect self, thinking outside of the self helps you to practice your masculine roles and the responsibilities that are expected of you. You are protector and provider. In order to do so you must think outside of just yourself.

Seven: Don’t punish those in your inner circle. Usually you take out your frustrations on the ones who are nearest to you. The ones in your own home tend to catch the brunt of your emotional storms. Find other ways of releasing without punishing the ones in your inner circle.

Eight: Do things that make you feel accomplished and in charge. Just as you would make a “to-do list” for the job or for household chores, make a list of things you do just to satisfy your needs. Perhaps no one does things for you that make you feel good. Not to worry, make your own list and do them for you just as you would do them for others.

Nine: Overcome procrastination. When something needs to be done do it immediately. Don’t put things off until later because that becomes a deadly habit. Make a check-list and do the ones that are tough first. The rest will be so easy that they practically take care of themselves. Become proactive. Do it NOW!

Ten: Don’t allow fear to freeze you. Most of us allow our fears to stop us in our tracks. If you want to do something and sense fear, face it. There is a reason why most people do not accomplish their goals. It is because they allow fear to stop them from acting. Face fear and overcome it. Use it as your motivation.

Eleven: Practice containing your anger. When you sense anger beginning to grow inside you, become conscious of the escalating agitation. Do something to divert or displace the anger. Sense it; give it a name as you would a tropical storm. When you face it you gain the upper hand rather than allowing it to take you out of your mental control.

Twelve: Create a male support group or system. Find other males you can speak to about emotional things or things that you don’t know how to express. A best buddy is good to have but if not, find other males that you can bounce things off. Don’t live in a bubble. Create a male support system.

I am not trying to infringe on copyrighted material but instead passing on something that I thought was extremely beneficial in helping me understand my masculine needs. Google John Gray, PhD and acquire more of his pointers to aid in your understanding of gender needs and differences. This is my paraphrase of what I learned from that book. I am happy to give credit where credit is due. Again, this is not something that I created.

Yes guys, you have masculine needs. Make sure you are doing something to fulfill those needs just as you are doing things to fill the needs of others.

Parenting can be a very tough role to fill. Like most other adult roles it requires on the job training. We do the best we can with the few skills we have. Unfortunately most of us don’t have good reliable resources to turn to when we have questions regarding how to effectively parent our children. Most don’t even have reliable resources to turn to in order to learn about marital issues in general, which include dealing with your spouse in addition to the children, the in-laws, aging parents, and a host of things that come with matrimony.

If you only had one issue to handle such as being a great dad perhaps you could buckle down and tackle that chore with personal pride and do an adequate job of what you set out to achieve. If life were that simple then more of us would be much more successful. Unfortunately we do not get to tell life when or how to dish us out our responsibilities. They do not come just one at a time wrapped in a neat package. On the contrary they usually come in bundles. While you are learning how to become a decent parent you have to also learn how to be a decent husband at the same time. You have to learn how to get along with in-laws, how to deal with employment issues, and a multitude of other issues at the same time. In fact, when it rains, it pours!

When you open the doors of problems to deal with they seem to flock together. Most young married couples don’t have the necessary maturity to deal with that much stress under intense pressure so many times they fold under fire. The marriage crumbles. Yet, you have to still be a parent to your children for life. How do you separate all the anger and venom from a failed marriage so you can still perform your job and responsibility as a parent? No one ever said it would be easy. When you thought you were falling in love with your potential mate you never anticipated having so many things to deal with at once, all requiring your immediate attention.

I’m not trying to paint a dark picture, but before you make the decision to become a parent you need to think through the big picture. Being married in and of itself can be trying and complicated. Learning how to deal with in-laws can have its challenges. Dealing jointly with finances, employment issues, career issues, and just coming together as a team with others is extremely challenging. Wouldn’t it be prudent to work slowly into all these tentacles before you bring children into the world when you will be required to master being the parent in addition to all the other issues?

Being a parent is one of your most important roles as a male, if you decide to become one. Since it is such a precious responsibility you should think carefully before you allow the heat of the moment to create a child. Although you may never be fully ready for the challenges that a young family offers, you can plan ahead and talk over such things with your spouse in order to have a planned family rather than one that you are dealing with blindly. For those who choose to bring children into the world with no desire to become a fully-active parent, shame on you. That is a cruel thing to do to a child, who deserves a fair chance to compete in such a complicated world.

If you choose to get married and start a family, make sure you think this thing through. Don’t just allow regularly and readily available sex to dominate your reason for getting married or for having children. It is much more complicated that just calling yourself a married person. There is much to do, much to learn, and much to consider, especially before you bring children into the world. If you get married while you are young, in your teens or early twenties, don’t rush children into the package. Learn about each other and about the complications of being married before you take the next logical step of bringing children into the picture. Once you bring them in it is too late to undo the lifelong obligation of parenting.

These are things that males need to think through before just jumping into the sack. It is not just for the pleasure of sex. If you want just sex do something to insure that you do not accidentally bring a child into the world unplanned and perhaps even unwanted! Don’t be that irresponsible with the life of a child. Don’t take the role of parenting lightly. It requires much more than you may think while only looking at the picture from the outside. It is a tough responsibility, but it can be a very rewarding one. All I am saying is to think it through wisely before you decide to become a parent. Be prepared for the challenges and step up to the plate to do the right things when the issues come up. Being a parent is one of the toughest roles you could have as a male, but also one of the most rewarding when it is done right.